It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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