just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize