i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just pee around me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize