Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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