brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
