we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Bring me that man meat
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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