What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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