I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize