My first STD was from a foam party
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
