They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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