I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This house was built for laser tag.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize