..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
