lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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