I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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