Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
