I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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