Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
