I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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