I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize