how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
