Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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