Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
