Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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