just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I party with great urgency now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
