i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think my moral compass just broke
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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