When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
