brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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