she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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