dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
