I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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