hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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