is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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