My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
