smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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