i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
