im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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