That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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