Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize