That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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