I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
