I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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