In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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