Well apparently he's into motor boating.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
