it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
