how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
