What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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