i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she peed on how many people?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
