Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
