then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
