I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
