tell your sister to shave her snatch
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
