5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am naked and annoyed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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