I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
