yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
